On an emotional Rollercoaster - By Alida

Emotional Rollercoaster

This weekend was a mixture of absolute joy, and absolute sadness and it just feels like it was a lot longer than just two days.

The Joy:

I got back in the saddle after six weeks of being grounded.  I sustained a stress fracture on my right foot around six weeks ago, and was told to take it easy.  For a change I listened (boy I must really be getting old!) and I didn’t get up to too much mischief.  I could feel the odd twinge in my foot over the six week period, which reminded me to take things a little easier.  I didn’t always – if things needed to get done, it needed to get done! 

Fernando was feeling my tension for sure.  He was chewing on his bit a lot more than usual – grinding his teeth but generally his usual well behaved self.  I was rusty but it started coming back to me pretty quickly and I even managed a good canter or two.  My attention though was not completely where it should have been.  I dismounted at the end of the lesson with the help of my hubby so that I wouldn’t place undue stress on my foot – he had me landing on the ground as soft as a feather – not a twinge from my foot at all.

The sadness:

On Saturday morning, Murlan (a lovely little school pony) broke his leg in a freak accident and had to be put down.  His owner took him on an outride, and while I was in the arena, I heard a shout and looked up to see Murlan struggle to his feet just outside the school yard.  He had (I presumed) spooked at something – perhaps at some cyclists coming past?- I wasn’t sure, but he had fallen and his owner came off too.  Chene took over our lesson from Ricus while he went to investigate and assist the owner and Murlan.  From a distance, it looked like Murlan could not put any weight on the leg.  Perhaps just injured, or bruised I hoped?  We carried on with the lesson.

Afterwards, I went to where they stood waiting for the vet.  An ambulance had arrived to take the lady to hospital – thank goodness her injuries did not seem to be too serious.  Murlan, however, was not so lucky.  As I walked up, Ricus just shook his head.  A few friends stood by, quietly holding Murlan’s leadrope.  They had removed his saddle and bridle and had put a halter on him.  Ricus said it seemed that Murlan’s leg was broken in two places.  Blood pooled in the grass where he stood quietly.  No lashing out, no drama, nothing.  Just him being his usual quiet self if you looked at his face.  But you couldn’t help but look at the leg that he held off the ground.

Tears that I had been holding back started pouring down my face.  I tried to be brave for the kids’ sake that were there, but I wasn’t being very good at it.  I said my goodbyes, got in my car and left.

Another task remained though.  My dear friend Lee Anne regularly rode Murlan and had formed a close bond with him.  She had had her struggles with him where he could barely do a decent canter and was generally a difficult little horse, and she had worked with him a lot over the last year, to a point where she could recently jump a 80cm course with him in a training show.  I had to break the news to her that he had to be put down, and to make things worse - it was her birthday.  She was at work that morning for a stock-take which was very involved and needed her full attention.  I knew I couldn’t call her right there – she wouldn’t be able to focus on the task at hand.  We celebrated her birthday on Sunday by going out for lunch with a couple of friends.  It was very hard not to break down, but somehow, with Anya’s help, we got through the day in one piece.  That evening, when all had settled, Anya and I set off to their home to deliver the terrible news.  We sat her down and I had to tell her what had happened.  Lee-Anne was heartbroken.  We all cried, hugged and cried some more.  Had some coffee, talked, and cried some more.  I was emotionally wasted.  It took me some time before I could settle down last night and my dreams were troubled. 

This morning, I feel like I have run a marathon.  My muscles are aching from riding for the very first time in six weeks, and my head feels like I have a hangover.  It was a weekend of highs and lows that I hope not to have to experience any time again ever.

Rest in piece sweet little horse.